Hey, Where’d My Libido Go?

Copyright 2006 Karen Fusco Why do so many mothers lose their libido? Here’s 9 ways for Busy Moms to rediscover their sex drive. Don’t worry…it’s still there! Somewhere lodged deep between the crying, the breast-feeding, the ‘Mommy-I-needs’, the doctor’s appointments, the bills, the dinner, and the extra 5 pounds of pregnancy weight (or 10, or 15…or 30) that you just can’t seem to get rid of, lies your sex drive, dormant and patiently waiting to be revived. You may think as you are reading this, ‘Oh, no. That’s exactly what got me here in the first place.’ And that’s probably true. But, because we are so caught up in the multitude of responsibility and the day-to-day hustle, we tend to forget about the erotic pleasures that once came with the territory. 9 Sure-Fire Ways to Bring the Sizzle Back Into Your Sex Life 1. Sexy Panties and Lingerie. We got so comfortable wearing those maternity panties that Victoria’s Secret has actually become a mystery to our wardrobe. Here’s the thrill in wearing sexy lingerie -- because it’s beneath your clothes, nobody has to know you’re wearing it. That is, unless you want them to… 2. Highlight Your Best Features. You’ve still got it, whether you realize it or not, so flaunt it. Accentuate your best physical attributes and draw attention to the sensual side of you. 3. Exercise. Now, you may think there is absolutely nothing sexual at all about exercise, but here are proven reasons why a 15 minute daily workout will increase your sex drive. Not only does regular exercise increase your stamina, when you workout you feel good about yourself which will, in turn, be reflected positively in your confidence and appearance. And here’s where the science and research kick in, so bear with me. According to medical research, dopamine and endorphins are both considered pleasure neurochemicals (they affect how we feel). Aerobic exercise releases endorphins that create a sense of well-being (you feel good or euphoria). Feeling good likely boosts the libido and makes a woman more excited about sex. Endorphins are also released during orgasm. What a fantastic hormone! So, the next time you want to feel sensual take a brisk walk or jump on the bike with the kids to get those neurochemicals going. 4. Slow Down on the Mommy Stuff. Don’t let the multitude of day-to-day tasks take you over and wear you out. The top reason why couples aren’t having sex is they are just too tired. And as a Mom you are not just physically tired at the end of the day, you are also mentally exhausted. To eliminate fatigue, try a powernap during the day instead of washing the dishes or doing the laundry. The 10-20 minute nap will have you feeling much more refreshed and at ease. Most likely, there are items on your daily to-do list that can wait until tomorrow. You’re much sexier when you’re well-rested and relaxed than when you’re overwhelmed, exhausted and looking frazzled. 5. Take Off the Mom Hat. You weren’t born with the title. Before you were ‘Mom’ and the household Superwoman, you were this Super Sexy Woman on the move. You have to take off the Mom Hat for a moment because nobody else is going to volunteer to give you a break otherwise. 6. Play Dress Up. Now, this can go two different ways. It’s always nice to put on fancy clothes, get your hair, nails, and make-up professionally done to go out on the town. But, there is a naughty aspect that comes along with a trip to Fredrick’s of Hollywood or the local costume shop. The element of mystery and excitement is sure to get you going. 7. Get a Babysitter or a Family Member. If you have a support system… use it. If you don’t… hire one you can trust. If you can’t trust one locally, buy an airline ticket and ship one in. You will be hard pressed to find your libido with the kids running around screaming and playing, so find a way to have quiet time alone with your significant other. Once you have secured some help, plan a romantic evening alone at home or even a weekend getaway of pleasure. 8. Relax…Relate…Release. We underestimate the eroticism that comes with peace and quiet. Pamper yourself and rediscover the powers of relaxation. Release all of your worries and daily responsibility to enjoy the company of your lover. 9. Play up The Senses. The word ‘sensual’ means enticing the 5 senses. So, entice your sense of sight, smell, touch, taste, and sound to reawaken your sexual libido. Light your favorite scented candles to provide soft lighting (sight), warmth (touch), and sexy aromas (scent). Bring out warm baby oil so you and your lover can simultaneously massage (touch) each other in delicate places. And have a tray of aphrodisiacs to feed one another (taste) while soft music is playing in the background (sound).