Two Keys to Surviving a Breakup: Resources and Support

Relationships are easy to enter, hard to maintain, and painful to leave. The first blush of interest and attraction fuels the passion that ultimately leads to commitment. In the midst of a relationship, all sorts of things can go wrong, from the failure to communicate or taking the other person for granted, to infidelity or abuse. The breakup is heart wrenching for both people, regardless of who initiated the break up and even when there is good reason to split. That's why, whether you're on the verge of breaking up, in the throes of separation, or recovering from heartbreak, it's important to spend the time necessary to heal. The best thing you can do to help this process along involves finding the right support and resources.

Books are Wonderful Resources

Whether your goal is to mend a broken heart, win an ex back and get back together, or to simply move on with your life, you can be sure that others have traveled the same path. Because a breakup can make you feel lost, it's extremely helpful to rely on the advice and experiences of others to put you on the path to healing.

For example, if your boyfriend (or girlfriend) left you - and played the blame game in the process - it's natural to feel unlovable and at fault. Yet, if you look at the situation from the perspective that he or she left because of his or her own dysfunctional psychological issues, you can more clearly see that it's really not about you, and you can more freely move on with your life.

On the other hand, perhaps you contributed to the break up of the relationship. Perhaps you didn't express your appreciation and gratitude often enough, or maybe you didn't give your relationship the priority it deserved. It could be that, instead of tending to your relationship garden, both of you were busy doing other things while the weeds took over. If your heart tells you that your relationship is worth fighting for (not fighting over!), a book can help you navigate the waters of getting back together.

Support is Essential

Few breakups happen overnight, so getting the support you need throughout the process is essential. When it comes to breaking up, help yourself by expressing your feelings and reaching out to others. Writing about your feelings, asking others to listen to you vent, seeking out advice, and reading about the experiences of others are all tools that can help you mourn your loss, regain your sense of self, and move on with your life.

Online Support and Resources

A breakup is one of life's most momentous events, but the people who are closest to you are often not very objective. After all, they may have their own agendas in pushing you toward one course of action or away from another, or perhaps they care too much to cause you any further pain.

When you go online, though, you can find sites that provide both a wealth of downloadable books and support-oriented discussion boards. Instant access to books can be a lifesaver, and discussing your situation and reading about those of others can give you the one-day-at-a-time approach that will see you though every stage of the breakup process. The best sites even have breakup blogs, where you can journal your thoughts and feelings, and can read others' stories.

A breakup is extremely difficult, but you don't have to go it alone. Whether your goal is to mend a broken heart or get back together, find the online support and resources you need.