How to succeed as a stay-at-home mom

Stay-at-home moms are no longer just the co-stars from Leave It To Beaver, the Brady Bunch, and other television shows from a bygone era. Taking care of the kids has become the cool thing to do again for women in their 20s and 30s. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are at least 5.4 million stay-at-home parents in the United States alone. These are a dynamic bunch of women, and men, who see opportunities in their domestic role, especially the opportunities presented by the Internet.

Sure, many of these parents gave up exciting careers and important roles in their community to take up the time-honored tradition of rearing their children. You yourself may have put goals and dreams on the back burner when you accepted the commitment and responsibility of raising your little ones. You understand the importance of a parent being there for those firsts: the first crawl, the first step, the first “momma” and “dadda.”

At the same time, though, you may feel like you have taken on too much. Not only do you have the pressures of bringing up a smart, well-behaved child. You worry about being able to make ends meet to provide everything your child needs.

If this sounds all too familiar, take a deep breath, turn off the television, and log online. No, don’t think you’re going to surf the Web to just pass the time. The Internet is your portal to transforming your stay-at-home life. In between the diaper changes and feedings, bedtimes and burpings, you can reach beyond the walls of your home and access the outside world as never before. The benefits are as close to limitless as the millions of sites on the Web, including:

•    E-support system. Whether you’re searching for other stay-at-home moms to lean on, folks with the same health ailment as yourself, or even just other Oprah fanatics, the Internet is like one big community center where you can find them.

•    Friends and fun. Through e-mail, chat rooms, and instant messaging, the Internet is one of the easiest ways to keep in touch with old friends and family members, as well as to meet new acquaintances.

•    Cyber community. Look for your neighborhood’s Web site for information on shopping, festivals, town hall meetings, and other local interests. If you can’t find your town’s home on the Internet, take a leadership role in creating it with the help of your neighbors.

•    Cap and gown. Many community colleges and universities offer e-courses. You never need to step foot on the campus to earn degrees in finance, English, accounting, or whatever else suit your fancy.

•    Steals and deals. If you’re looking for some of the biggest discounts and best selection for anything from electronics to groceries, books to automobiles, the Web is your marketplace.

•    Cash flow. The Internet can work for you, as well, if you are on the other end of the cash register. The Web provides an unparalleled avenue to sell goods. It can link you to interested buyers if you’re only looking to unload a few knickknacks to unclutter your home. If you have enough stuff to open a garage sale, you can do that, too, without time or space constraints. Or try your hand at a full-time online business if you get bit by the entrepreneurial bug.

The Internet can open up the outside world to you for all of these benefits, but you need the right set of keys to open the door. Your first “key” is the type of Internet access you use. You’ll need to weigh your budget versus how fast you want to navigate on the Web. Cable and DSL hook ups provide zippy access but can cut into your profit margins. Dial up, on the other, can be cheap or even free, but can slow down your productivity.

Once you have your hook up established, you’ll need to get your feet wet before you do heavy surfing. Find trusted sites for your activities. Look for certified schools to take courses at and secure shopping zones to purchase at. When selling or starting your own business, do your research to find the most trusted and thrifty auction and classified sites. The right classified sites can be like your neighborhood paper, except they reach millions of people around the globe. In many cases, the best classified sites will also charge no start up or transaction fees and offer safe ways to communicate and do business with clients.

Settle these basics, and you can be virtually ensured to become a true M.O.M, a master of multitasking. In the time it takes your child to take a nap or watch an episode of Blues Clues, you will be able to earn 4 more credits to your finance degree, buy a new mp3 player, and sell a closet’s worth of stuff.

When It is alright to let them decide?

Yesterday I took my son to the barber shop to get his back to school hair cut. As we sat in the barber shop, I reminisced over how much my son has grown. I remember the first time I took him to the barber shop, I had to sit in the barbers chair and have him sit on my lap just so he could stop squirming and get his hair cut. And now look at him, he walks into the barber shop as if it is second nature. True, I still have my moments when I stand by the barber’s chair, and oversee him and my son as they have their “man” talk. But yesterday all that changed. As I went to the barber shop with my son, he ran over to the pictures of hair cuts on the wall and said “mommy, I want this one.” All of the guys laughed at him, jeering him “your mother is not going to let you get that son, not until your older.” But as I looked in Isaiah’s eyes, I couldn’t help it. I had to allow him to have this one decision. For once I was going to step back and let him decide on how he wanted his hair to look. As I swayed past the older men in the shop, to get a closer look at the picture, I couldn’t believe it! My son wanted to get a Mohawk with a spider man design on the side. As I turned around to tell him pick another cut, I remembered the look in his eyes and the excitement on his face as he marched up to the picture and pointed to it and said: “mommy, I want this one.” How could I turn around and tell him no. As he sat in the chair, the barber looked at me, the older men looked at me, and Isaiah looked at me as if they were all waiting for me to yell: STOP, I’m not ready for this, he’s too young to make this choice!” But I just politely smiled and stared back at them and cheered Isaiah on. As I watched him get his hair cut, I began to wonder, at what point do we let our children began to make decisions for themselves? When do we step back and let them take control? Sure this time it was something as minor as a hair cut. But later on who knows what it will be? How do we prepare them to make good decisions? Or to accept the decisions that they’ve made? As parents we always want to hold their hand, choose which path that we assume is the right path for them and watch themhappily march down it. We always want to be the ones who block the bumps, pitfalls, and cover up the spills, but when do we stop? Should we start teaching them decision making skills at at four, five, six? Or do we wait until they get older? After Isaiah got his hair cut and I brought him home, he rushed upstairs to the mirror and looked at his hair cut. I couldn’t quite figure out what he was doing, so innocently I asked “what’s up?” As he turned around to answer me, he had... (read the full article at the link below)

When Mother Joined The Commute

HOW IT ALL BEGAN Commuting to work is a modern phenomenon that began in earnest just after the Second World War and the development of Levittown, that community of houses that looked all the same and supplied housing for newly begun families of returning soldiers and their wives. To find tracts of land to build these developments, Levitt moved out of the city proper and into the countryside, close enough for the automobile to bring workers into the city to work, but far enough away to build on cheap land. Families, looking for a better life, moved to these houses with all their “modern” conveniences and space for the children to play. It was the late ‘40’s and the ‘50’s, so mother stayed home with the children and father went out to work, driving the family car to the city. This became the aspiration of all young couples. As the needs and wants of these young families increased, mothers began to work, first , in traditionally female jobs such as nursing, secretarial and teaching, close to home and available if their children, who were now in school, needed them. Another exodus occurred as housing again became expensive. This time, widespread ownership of the automobile allowed the father to commute to the city to work. Mother stayed at home, isolated from adult companionship for very long periods of time. Finally, mother joined the commute to higher paying employment and the long distance commute was complete. Today, the commute goes on. Cars, trains, buses, planes, ferries-all bring the commuter to and from work. The commute has been a great boon to people, not only has it allowed them to choose where to live, but it has allowed them to work in more lucrative jobs while buying houses that have more value for the dollar. There has been, however, a price to pay. Commuters lose this block of time each day, they become more stressed as the time increases, they fall to physical illness because of the commute, they become separated from the daily flow of the family and friends, they start work already stressed and find it affects their output. The mother commuter has added the additional burden of the commute to her other work. She continues, in most households, to be the homemaker who runs the house and cares for the health and welfare of the family. WHERE IT’S GOING No doubt the long distance commute will stay with us. But an interesting thing has happened along the way - the home worker. Some people are starting home businesses to avoid the commute, to save expenses and become more involved in the household. Others have worked out arrangements with their companies so that, thanks to the computer, at least part of their work time is done from home. The trend is for this to increase. There is even a bigger push among women to find a way to work from home. But before you make a decision, do be aware of the pros and cons of working from home. Some find it difficult to separate work and nonwork and feel like they are always working, or at least on call all the time. Others find it difficult to remove themselves from the activity of the household to get their work done. Still others complain of the isolation of working at home and of missing the interaction of the workplace. None of this is insurmountable, but they do need to be addressed.

Choosing

It is no secret these days that breastfeeding is best. This information comes at new mothers from every direction. Obstetricians, pediatricians, and parenting magazines all agree that breastfeeding is the way to go. So why are there so many different bottles on the shelves these days? Because not all mother’s are able to breastfeed and those that do, need an occasional evening away from baby. With all the choices out there, it can be difficult to decide which bottle is best. When making your decision you should take into consideration the cost of the bottle, your baby’s preference, and any health problems your child may have. Here is a brief description of the bottles on the market right now. This information should make your decision a little easier...(read the full article at the link below)

"Pushy" Deaf Kid's Mom

There are some things that we as persons, born on this planet, have no control over. Our own birth defects are included in that scenario. While there are those who believe that we ourselves choose what obstacles we must face and overcome in this life, prior to our earthly birth, I am not one who buys that. I did not choose to be born deaf.

Be that what it may, I was entered this world with a 70% hearing loss in both ears. It didn’t take my Mother long to recognize my hearing deficiency. She had been born a hearing impaired person too. My Mother determined that her child would not hide his deficiency, as she had been allowed to do.

Mom, as a child, had many siblings. Most of her sisters were older than she so hers were hand-me-down clothes. Poor, nearly deaf, she had taken a back seat in classrooms in an effort to not call attention to herself and her perceived inadequacies. Always, when called upon by a teacher, Mother would say, “I don’t know…” As she later told me, “The alternative answer would have been even more humiliating, I didn’t hear!”

I would never be allowed to make such an unwise determination. Every year, the first day of grammar school, Mother would march me before the teachers and tell them, in no uncertain terms, “This boy can not hear. I want him in a front desk, and I don’t want him moved around the room!”

As any otherwise normal kid would, I hated it. I asked her, “Why do you have to make such a big thing about this? I hear alright,” I insisted.

“Of course you do,” was her reply. “Because, I love you, I want you to hear what your teachers say and not have the articulation problems that I’ve had learning to form your own words correctly.

I didn’t really comprehend, until later, the significance of the second part of Mother’s answer. But yeah, I knew that she did love me. Even though I often resented the seating restriction, I was ever to be found occupying a front desk.

As a direct result of my “Pushy Mother’s intervention,” I was not distracted by classroom conversations which were not part of the curriculum. I couldn’t get away with anything because the teachers would catch me. And, I learned to properly pronounce most words because I “Heard” them. Mother’s vocabulary was excellent, her speech clear, as she had invested many childhood hours in a dictionary, looking up words that she felt she might need with emphasis on pronunciation. In grade school, I was spared that responsibility which I would not have taken upon myself anyway.

It wasn’t until high school that I learned to be stupid in my selection of where to sit. I never even considered that perhaps misunderstanding assignments, or not hearing what instructors actually said, had something to do with how hard I had to struggle.

Later, I was witness to what might have happened to me if not for having a “Pushy Mom.” A cousin inherited the same type of hearing loss I was born with. His mother didn’t bother to be pushy on this issue. He was shuffled along through school and treated like someone with a learning impairment. No wonder, for when he spoke he sounded retarded.

For a while, as an adult, I sold hearing aids. When I checked my cousin’s hearing, it was virtually identical to my own. Only then, did I fully comprehend and appreciate the wonderful gift my mother had given me by being “Pushy.”

If you have a child that doesn’t have excellent hearing, consider becoming a “Pushy Parent,” if only on this one issue. It is one thing that you can do for your child ~ on this planet ~ to level the playing field while he or she is too young to appreciate it.