At the age of 70 I retired. Happy days were ahead. I could do what I want, when I want and if I want to do nothing that’s okay too. I watched daytime TV, did the crossword puzzles, read the newspapers, and kept in touch with friends and family through email. I played some games on the computer and checked out the internet. Of course, I ate a lot because the food was there. When I did wander out, it was the mall or the supermarket where I could buy lots of goodies to keep me happy. When you’re retired, wandering aimlessly through the stores, spending money foolishly is not what you want to do. So what do you do? I didn’t want to be one of those old people sitting around waiting to die. I could see myself falling into a depression. Would you say I needed a new challenge in life!
The day of awakening came with a phone call from a friend. “The Parks Department has a Community Center nearby; they have all kinds of classes; let’s go check it out.” Now, I thought, what could I possibly do there? What I did find there was a low impact aerobics class that would help me take off the weight I had managed to put on. I joined the class, had a good time and met some really nice people. They were all discussing the line dance class they had joined and what fun it was. When I was about 10 years old, my brother who was five years older than I, used to practice his jitterbug on me and I grew up dancing during the wonderful era of the big bands. I didn’t get to dance much later in life and forgot how much I enjoyed it,
With a bit of trepidation I joined the line dance class. It wasn’t just country music anymore. They taught Mambo, Cha-Cha, Waltz, and I was in heaven. The only problem, since I was sure I knew how to dance, was thinking this was going to be soooooo easy! It turned out that I was the only newbie in the class and I also realized there’s no partner to lead me around the floor. At first I thought I must have turned stupid in my old age, but then realized that line dancing is mostly memory and my memory was not too sharp anymore. I was going to stick with it! The dances are a number of sets that are repeated during the dance and you have to be aware of the sequence, what steps come next. Fortunately, I did not take myself too seriously. Someone once said “dance as if no one is looking” so that’s exactly what I did. I laughed a lot, persevered and promised myself I would not give up. I finally did it! It all fell into place.
The moral of the story….. dance class is much less expensive than doctors and psychiatrists; it gives you a natural high! I lost weight; I lost inches; I started to eat healthier when I saw the weight loss and my memory has improved tremendously. I’m exercising my brain by learning something new with each dance. I learned so well, that at the age of 75, the Parks & Recreation Department offered me a job teaching line dancing. My students always compliment me on my youthful looks and demeanor; something I don’t mind hearing.
I just read that Socrates learned to dance when he was seventy because he felt that an essential part of himself had been neglected. Isn’t it funny that with all the aches and pains that come with age, I don’t feel a bit of pain when I dance? It must be that ‘natural high’.
Showing posts with label memory. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memory. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Friday, March 26, 2010
22 Ways to get through the family get together and survive!
I was asked recently “HELP. My mother is planning a family get together for her birthday. We all get on individually but when we are together, by the end of the night there are generally fallouts and I am anticipating another disaster. Mum will be offended if I don’t go. Can you help me manage this situation so that she is not offended and I can perhaps feel less tense about going?”
Sound familiar? Yes. We’ve all been to them and unfortunately many of us will tend to recall the bad memories as opposed to the positive ones.
I have put down some thoughts about how you could make this less tedious for yourself.
1. You could try making the get together brief. Perhaps reminding others in the family that when you are all together over a prolonged period of time, things regularly deteriorate. They may share your views but be afraid to stand up and say so. You may be able to agree to set a time limit conducive to more good memories and less bad. If they don’t agree on this occasion, they are still more likely to remember what you have said and based on the next experience be willing to modify things.
2. Remember, that you can still opt to do what you choose without the support of the rest of your family.
3. If the children tend to be hyper, there are a number of things you can do.
4. Suggest you have the meal soon after arrival so that the children don’t eat too many sugary snacks or get involved in running around LOUDLY.
5. Could you have the party outside? Less mess
6. Organise things to do such as games.
7. Reduce the availability of alcohol.
8. If things look like getting fraught, consider injecting some humour into the situation.
9. Could you go to a venue outside so that you need not be concerned about cooking clearing up etc? Also less likely to have rows in a social setting.
10. Perhaps if each of you brought a different course, some pressure would be taken from mum.
11. Would it be possible to book in to a hotel for the meal? Maybe smaller tables would mean less chaos and there would be more choice about who to sit with. Everyone would also be more aware of a time constraint. If you don’t have to spend too lengthy a time together, everyone is more likely to make an effort to get on with each other.
12. Think ahead and be prepared to use some coping strategies.
Would it be possible to take a friend with you? Someone seen as not family may mean that others are less likely to misbehave. If you find particular people put you down then having an ally can be comforting.
13. Visualise yourself coping in the situation.
14. Use breathing exercises to stay calm.
15. Wear comfortable clothes that you feel confident in.
16. Endeavour to ignore the trivialities.
17. Sometimes it can pay to just shut out what is being said.
18. Do not go to these events expecting everything to go well. Accept that there will be some difficulties
19. Mentally prepare yourself beforehand by making sure you give yourself some “. Me time.”
20. Do something which makes you feel good .Go for a massage, a walk or listen to some music
21. If you go to the get together reward yourself afterwards for going.
22. HOLD ON TO GOOD MEMORIES
GOOD LUCK!
This article was submitted by Mary Lennox an experienced counsellor and intuitive life coach. The combination of her education, career background and life experiences enable her to have an empathic understanding across abroad spectrum of circumstances. Visit her website www.lifecoachinggym.com for more free articles or to subscribe to her free bi monthly newsletter "WORKOUT."
Sound familiar? Yes. We’ve all been to them and unfortunately many of us will tend to recall the bad memories as opposed to the positive ones.
I have put down some thoughts about how you could make this less tedious for yourself.
1. You could try making the get together brief. Perhaps reminding others in the family that when you are all together over a prolonged period of time, things regularly deteriorate. They may share your views but be afraid to stand up and say so. You may be able to agree to set a time limit conducive to more good memories and less bad. If they don’t agree on this occasion, they are still more likely to remember what you have said and based on the next experience be willing to modify things.
2. Remember, that you can still opt to do what you choose without the support of the rest of your family.
3. If the children tend to be hyper, there are a number of things you can do.
4. Suggest you have the meal soon after arrival so that the children don’t eat too many sugary snacks or get involved in running around LOUDLY.
5. Could you have the party outside? Less mess
6. Organise things to do such as games.
7. Reduce the availability of alcohol.
8. If things look like getting fraught, consider injecting some humour into the situation.
9. Could you go to a venue outside so that you need not be concerned about cooking clearing up etc? Also less likely to have rows in a social setting.
10. Perhaps if each of you brought a different course, some pressure would be taken from mum.
11. Would it be possible to book in to a hotel for the meal? Maybe smaller tables would mean less chaos and there would be more choice about who to sit with. Everyone would also be more aware of a time constraint. If you don’t have to spend too lengthy a time together, everyone is more likely to make an effort to get on with each other.
12. Think ahead and be prepared to use some coping strategies.
Would it be possible to take a friend with you? Someone seen as not family may mean that others are less likely to misbehave. If you find particular people put you down then having an ally can be comforting.
13. Visualise yourself coping in the situation.
14. Use breathing exercises to stay calm.
15. Wear comfortable clothes that you feel confident in.
16. Endeavour to ignore the trivialities.
17. Sometimes it can pay to just shut out what is being said.
18. Do not go to these events expecting everything to go well. Accept that there will be some difficulties
19. Mentally prepare yourself beforehand by making sure you give yourself some “. Me time.”
20. Do something which makes you feel good .Go for a massage, a walk or listen to some music
21. If you go to the get together reward yourself afterwards for going.
22. HOLD ON TO GOOD MEMORIES
GOOD LUCK!
This article was submitted by Mary Lennox an experienced counsellor and intuitive life coach. The combination of her education, career background and life experiences enable her to have an empathic understanding across abroad spectrum of circumstances. Visit her website www.lifecoachinggym.com for more free articles or to subscribe to her free bi monthly newsletter "WORKOUT."
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