Laughing at the Indian Cricket Team

Indian cricket is headed for a disastrous World Cup and only those who wish to bury their head in the sand can think that they will do well there. The pitches in West Indies are fast and the players (who anyway have a tough time on such pitches) will succumb easily. They will advance (I truly hope so) to the next round by beating the weak teams but they will lose once again to the strong ones and they will find ourselves out and forgotten very soon. So instead of feeling sad, the only thing left for the fans to do is to joke about them. So here goes!

The story goes that there was a couple married for quite some time and they had a boy of 5-6 years old. Their  relationship was turning  sour. So finally it reached such a stage that they thought it was better for them to be divorced than to carry on such a relationship.

So they consulted a lawyer. But the big question was who would have the  kid. In the hearing in the court it was decided that this choice should be left to their son. So the judge asked "Son, would you like to stay with your mummy?"

The kid replied," No, mummy beats me."
So the judge asked "Then, would you like to stay with your papa?"
The kid replied, "No, papa beats me too."

Now the judge was in a dilemma and was not able to decide what to do. After  pondering  for some time he smiled with the ideas he had in his mind about the child.

And he gave the judgment that the kid would stay with

Any guesses?

Come on I know you can guess this.

Ok here is the decision: The judge decided that the kid would stay with the Indian Cricket Team because they never beat anybody.

And here are some one liners to pipe up your day:
Why do Indian babies cry and complain all the time?
They are practicing how to become Indian cricketers when they grow up.

What is an handcuffed Indian Cricketer called?
A cricketer you can trust.

What are the four words that will destroy any Indian batsman?
Did you bat today?

Why doesnt the crowd blink when Tendulkar goes out to bat?
There just is no time until he gets out again.

What is the difference between an Indian batsman and an Australian one?
100 runs.

What is the difference between batteries and Indian cricketers?
Batteries have a positive side.

How do you force Indian cricketers to run between wickets?
You place food on either end.

Yes, I know that some of these jokes are really putting the Indian team down but considering their recent form (excluding the recent two victories against West Indies which I think is more of a fluke than anything else), I felt that I could say such things.

I cannot understand how such players such as Ganguly, Tendulkar, Dravid and the rest can let the fans down time and again. Sometimes it seems that they are not really interested in playing and that they <a href="http://www.gambling-portal.com">gamble</a> away their wicket easily. If that is the case then they should leave and let other more able and willing youngsters take a shot. They will not fare much worse in any case. What will they do? Lose. They lose anyway and to any cricket playing nation in the world!

Get Your Joke Pass For Free!!

Laughter and humor are necessities in life. We need to have a release for all the pressure that comes our way and nothing is better at helping us keep our equilibrium than jokes and funny stories, just like at jokepass.com.

Bill Cosby once said, “If you can find humor in anything, you can survive it.” Instead of getting angry and growing old and wrinkled before your time, why not find the humor in your situation and share your real-life funny situation forum. Let’s face it: life is unfair! Society should let men wear heels too! Until it happens, just smile and let your funny bone get exercised.

At jokepass.com, we believe that the saying “laughter is the best medicine is absolutely true. So we set out to give you a place where you can find at least one thing to make you giggle and lighten your day. We aim to get those cheeks rosy and have your heart pumping and wipe those years away.

Just imagine, with jokepass.com, you won’t need surgery to look younger and be healthier. All you need to do is laugh! Your laughter will automatically make your body increase production of those natural killer cells that destroy tumors and viruses. Those ho-ho’s and ha-ha’s can increase the T-cells so important to our immune system and B-cells needed to make disease fighting antibodies. Laughing actually increases oxygen in the blood, lowers the blood pressure and encourages healing.

Can you name any medicine that can heal hearts and souls, not just the body? Laughter can. It can help bring families and friends closer together and can make the heaviest loads light. A chuckle or two can make the day fly faster when you’re stuck doing a really boring task. Look at the men in the Pike Market. They have so much fun, the FISH philosophy was born.

You don’t need to throw fish around to get started. All you need to do is visit Joke Pass and find a joke that tickles your funny bone. Try to guess the answer to one of the riddles or watch some of the member’s favorite funny videos. There’s always something funny going on over here.

Have you been looking for a place to share your puns? Then you’ve found a home! Be “punny”, be funny, feel free to share. The more laughter we generate around the world the better. Old joke, new joke, blonde jokes, knock-knock jokes…send them our way.

Let’s get serious for a moment. We can go around being grim and gritting our teeth and just trying to get through the day. Uh! Boring! Put some color in your life. Be a little silly. Lighten up, dude! One of the best ways to get a grip on your life is through humor. We know life is tough and it isn’t easy. Come over and take 5 with us. Joke Pass will help you get back to work with a lighter feeling and more smiles.

Make the time for laughter. Let us help add humor to your day. Spend some time at jokepass.com and get your belly aching (and your ab muscles working) with laughter.

Laughter: Use It to Pick Up Women

Humour, some say, is the fruit of life, and this is especially true when it comes to picking up on a girl no matter where the location. Make them laugh, and I guarantee, that you are very close to getting their phone number and even to getting them to go out with you. But, as we all know, making them laugh, is easier said than done. Precisely for those who find it difficult to come up with something funny to say, I am adding some funny anecdotes and wise cracks that you can memorize and then use in those situations where you need to get the girl in front of you to laugh. 1) The Prescription: Did you hear of the lady, who walked into the pharmacist and asked for arsenic? The man behind the counter asked in wonder, "What do you need that for? The lady calmly replied," to kill my husband." The pharmacist was taken aback," Are you crazy? Do you want to get us both into jail? And, anyway, why do you want to kill him? Go to a counselor. Get help for your marriage." The lady paused and from her purse she removed a set of pictures of her husband and the wife of the pharmacist in some very creative postures. The pharmacist looked at the snaps, put them down and smiled," lady, why did you not tell me that you have a prescription?" 2) The Tip Book A wife calls out to her husband, "Have you seen the book, 101 Tips to Live for More Than a Hundred Years? The husband sheepishly replies, "I burnt it." "What?" the wife shouted out," why?" The husband whispered back," Because your mother wanted to read it." 3) Range of Food Looking at his wife fry meat balls in all kinds of shapes and sizes, Tom tapped her on the shoulder, "Why?" His wife turned," Because you asked for a variety of food." 4) Mushrooms Tom was picking mushrooms from the forest floor with his wife, when she picked up one and showed it to Tom," Is this for eating?" Tom smiled," Yes. As long as you do not cook it." 5) Driving Around Tom greeted his wife when she returned home," So, my dear, how was your first time driving all alone?" His wife smiled coyly, "Do you want to hear it from me or read about it in the papers? 6) Drama A couple are watching a film in their local theater when the wife snuggles close to her husband and points to the screen," Do you think that they will get married in the end?" The husband sighs," Yes. These movies always have bad endings." 7) The Library Tom visited the local library, walks up to the librarian and asks, "Do you know where I can find the book, the Supremacy of Men over Women?" The librarian conducts a short search on the computer and looks up," you will be able to find it in the science fiction." Conclusion: While some of these might sound offensive, if you use them well you will be able to display not just a sense of humour, but also that you are exactly the opposite of the stereotype. How? Immediately, after you done, lean over and whisper, But I am not like that, and if you allow me to take you out, you will see that for yourself.