How ADD Affects Families

Typically, there is a lot of blame and frustration associated with Attention Deficit Disorder. Depending on how long the problem has gone before being diagnosed, there may be serious mental and emotional scars as family members and the child dealt with issues associated with ADD. This disorder is not only difficult for parents, but also the child with ADD and other siblings in the family.

The obvious victim of ADD is the child it affects. Being accustomed to negativity, these children usually suffer from very low self-esteem. Although they want to behave well, they have impulsive actions that typically result in constant punishment. Parents and teachers of an ADD child often are not aware or do not accept that the child suffers from a disorder and they are not always acting on a conscience level. The child, after being reprimanded and not being able to control their actions, is left feeling as though they will never be adequate or meet everyone else’s expectations.

The parents of an ADD child suffer from incredible frustration and doubt of their parenting skills. Often ridiculed by teachers, family members, and other acquaintances, they are often viewed as being the cause of their child’s behavior, as though lack of discipline is the root cause of their child’s actions. Attention Deficit Disorder sometimes places a strain on the parents’ marital relationship as well, as parents blame each other for being overly lenient or harsh in their rearing habits. This can lead to many arguments and disagreements that prove to be difficult on spouses.

An often forgotten casualty of Attention Deficit Disorder is the siblings of a child with ADD. Often not apparent, siblings in this situation often experience similar frustration and anxiety as the parents and child with ADD. Jealously sometimes plays a factor in their feelings as their sibling requires so much more attention, even if it is negative in nature. Also, these children often get the brunt of their sibling’s impulsive actions, including aggressive behavior typical of ADD. These children may also find themselves being categorized in school and other social environments because of their sibling’s behavior, which can also have a negative connotation.

In addition to immediate family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins may also be affected when a child has ADD. Depending on the closeness of the family, behavior outbursts and discipline issues may be a factor dealt with on various levels. In extreme cases, ADD may actually cause some familial relationships to be severed.

What Parents Can Do To Help Children With ADD

Once your child has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, you may feel a bombardment of emotions: guilt, for feeling responsible; relief, for understanding the cause of your child’s behavior; or anger. As you sort through all of the emotions, it is important to understand your child’s position is not a hopeless one. Many things can be done to help your child reach their full potential and to deal with the disorder. The first thing you should do to help your child is research ADD; learn everything you can about the disorder. You will be more help to your child if you fully understand what they are up against, common treatments, and what to expect down the road. You will also be more prepared to work with your child’s doctor in effective management of the disorder. You should also decide, with the help of your doctor, if your child should be medicated. This is a personal decision and can be only be made by you. Some parents feel they are giving their child the best opportunity they can by providing a means to a normal life. Others feel as though medication is not an option. Whatever your decision, you should be educated and certain of your decision. Regardless of if you use medication, you should implement certain behavior therapy guidelines to help your child control their behavior. These train your child to utilize lifelong skills to be effective and productive. You should have set behaviour guidelines, as well as consequences. Children with ADD need clear expectations and consistent discipline. You should be supportive of your child; you are their best advocate. In school, be sure they are being treated in a manner that will ensure their growth and development, as well as at home. You should consider yourself, your child’s teachers, and doctors a part of a team whose goal is to help your child succeed. Help your child grow to be a confident and happy person. Acknowledge their strengths and tell them how much you love them. Children with ADD often suffer depression and low self-esteem; if you know this is the case, take measures to help avoid this fate for your child. Seek professional help if necessary. Consider joining a support group and seek out people that share your situation. Often the best advice you can take is from someone that has been in your shoes. Utilize life experience!