Revive Yourself and Celebrate Your Inner Strength

Copyright 2006 Pat Brill How to maintain your self-identity during your transformation into Motherhood is a struggle for Busy Moms. Here are 9 great steps to revive your spirit, boost self-esteem and remind you why you are a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent person that deserves recognition. 1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Check Anyone Else Who Dares. This is probably the hardest step to follow because Moms constantly compare themselves to their sisters, neighbors, best friends, and even Martha Stewart! But the fact is that every Mom has a different situation so it’s useless to measure your self-worth against what somebody else is doing. You are a unique individual with a one-of-a-kind family and an original situation. So accept that. Love it. And quickly check anyone who makes you feel like you aren’t as good as some other Mom who has a completely different set of circumstances. The next time your Mother or Mother-In-Law tells you what wonderful things ‘Kimberly’ is doing with her fantastic family, take a moment and breathe. Don’t get emotional. Simply reply, ‘Mom, that’s so great for Kimberly and her family’, and mean it. After all, you have no idea what daily struggles and demons Kimberly faces within her own situation. Be happy for others, but accept and know that you never should dare to compare. 2. Learn to Love the Way You Look. Criticizing yourself is sure to bring your spirit down. You will find that not being pleased with your own reflection affects your energy and relationships with your friends, spouse, children, and associates. First things first: You are beautiful and you need to recognize and rejoice in that. You have to re-learn how to love the way you look. It’s easy to help yourself! Find 2 minutes to iron your clothes so you won’t look frumpy. Dab on some lipstick and blush in the morning. Toss some fresh fruit in the juicer to get a good boost of vitamins and give yourself that healthy glow. If you can’t get to the gym, pop in an exercise DVD or take the kids for a walk around the neighborhood. 3. Be Self-Assured. When in doubt, we all second-guess ourselves. Why? As a Busy Mom it’s somehow in your nature. You get so preoccupied with everything else that you aren’t as sure about things as you used to be. We all want to hear people tell us that we’re doing a good job and that we’re smart and successful. When you don’t get that type of feedback from others you begin to question your own worth. Although it’s wonderful to be acknowledged by others, you must realize that it’s most important to validate yourself. So, the next time you do a great job with the kids, look over your shoulder, snap your fingers, smile and say, “Yeah, I’ve still got it!” 4. Maintain A Positive Attitude. Trying to meet the demands of Motherhood and Marriage can have a negative affect on our attitudes and well-being. Keep your daily worries and challenges in perspective and try not to sweat the small stuff. 5. Self-Affirmations. Embrace who you are and use daily affirmations to build your confidence. Inner reflection accompanied by affirmations allows you to visualize your worth. Bring out the crayons and construction paper ‘cause its time for Moms everywhere to write down how they need to feel. Jot affirmations on sticky notes and place them in locations that you are sure to see many times throughout the day. If you want to feel beautiful and motivated write in bold letters ‘I AM BEAUTIFUL AND I CAN ACCOMPLISH MY GOALS’ and tape it to your bathroom mirror or the refrigerator. All people internalize things quite naturally and we burn images that we see in our brains. So, make the images positive affirmations that will resonate within your mind and spirit constantly. 6. Nurture Your Mental Health. You are never too old to learn and it’s never ever too late to start. You owe it to yourself to take daily mini-vacations regularly. When you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, take a restorative break. Close the door, just be still, and meditate. While the kids are asleep, read a chapter of a new book or have a cup of your favorite green tea. This is the one time for Mom to not share her time, belongings or self with others. Force yourself to engage in one or two activities each and every week that you enjoy. This will refresh you mentally so you can be in a healthy state to be the Dynamic Mom that you are. If life at home gets too hectic and you begin to feel overly anxious or deeply depressed, consider seeking professional help. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting counseling, and denying yourself the help won’t be good for you or your family. We all need support sometimes. 7. Surround Yourself With Positive People. Haven’t you ever heard of the crabs in the barrel? They bring everyone else down as they’re trying to get to the top. So, get rid of the people in your life with consistent crabby attitudes and unhealthy outlooks on life because they’ll inevitably bring your spirit down with their negativity. Think about how good it feels to be around people who are motivated to do good things and who enjoy life. Spend your time laughing and planning for a brighter future with other positive people who will help lift you up! 8. Have Style and Flair. You determine what your style is. You define your own new look. Take ownership in your style by creating fashion trends that fit your personality. You will feel good knowing you set your own standards and when people compliment you, be proud of your creativity. 9. Set Personal Goals. Don’t wait until New Years Eve. Set goals that are realistic and attainable for you through commitment and hard work. To stay motivated have small daily goals (and I don’t mean tasks and chores) that have nothing to do with the kids or your spouse. It’s easy to get caught up in taking care of everyone else’s needs. Busy Moms tend to forget about their own personal daily goals. Start off with something small and when you achieve that goal, congratulate yourself with a pat on the back and a proud smile in the mirror. It takes persistence to succeed, so keep at it and you will surely make it to the finish line!

Hey, Where’d My Libido Go?

Copyright 2006 Karen Fusco Why do so many mothers lose their libido? Here’s 9 ways for Busy Moms to rediscover their sex drive. Don’t worry…it’s still there! Somewhere lodged deep between the crying, the breast-feeding, the ‘Mommy-I-needs’, the doctor’s appointments, the bills, the dinner, and the extra 5 pounds of pregnancy weight (or 10, or 15…or 30) that you just can’t seem to get rid of, lies your sex drive, dormant and patiently waiting to be revived. You may think as you are reading this, ‘Oh, no. That’s exactly what got me here in the first place.’ And that’s probably true. But, because we are so caught up in the multitude of responsibility and the day-to-day hustle, we tend to forget about the erotic pleasures that once came with the territory. 9 Sure-Fire Ways to Bring the Sizzle Back Into Your Sex Life 1. Sexy Panties and Lingerie. We got so comfortable wearing those maternity panties that Victoria’s Secret has actually become a mystery to our wardrobe. Here’s the thrill in wearing sexy lingerie -- because it’s beneath your clothes, nobody has to know you’re wearing it. That is, unless you want them to… 2. Highlight Your Best Features. You’ve still got it, whether you realize it or not, so flaunt it. Accentuate your best physical attributes and draw attention to the sensual side of you. 3. Exercise. Now, you may think there is absolutely nothing sexual at all about exercise, but here are proven reasons why a 15 minute daily workout will increase your sex drive. Not only does regular exercise increase your stamina, when you workout you feel good about yourself which will, in turn, be reflected positively in your confidence and appearance. And here’s where the science and research kick in, so bear with me. According to medical research, dopamine and endorphins are both considered pleasure neurochemicals (they affect how we feel). Aerobic exercise releases endorphins that create a sense of well-being (you feel good or euphoria). Feeling good likely boosts the libido and makes a woman more excited about sex. Endorphins are also released during orgasm. What a fantastic hormone! So, the next time you want to feel sensual take a brisk walk or jump on the bike with the kids to get those neurochemicals going. 4. Slow Down on the Mommy Stuff. Don’t let the multitude of day-to-day tasks take you over and wear you out. The top reason why couples aren’t having sex is they are just too tired. And as a Mom you are not just physically tired at the end of the day, you are also mentally exhausted. To eliminate fatigue, try a powernap during the day instead of washing the dishes or doing the laundry. The 10-20 minute nap will have you feeling much more refreshed and at ease. Most likely, there are items on your daily to-do list that can wait until tomorrow. You’re much sexier when you’re well-rested and relaxed than when you’re overwhelmed, exhausted and looking frazzled. 5. Take Off the Mom Hat. You weren’t born with the title. Before you were ‘Mom’ and the household Superwoman, you were this Super Sexy Woman on the move. You have to take off the Mom Hat for a moment because nobody else is going to volunteer to give you a break otherwise. 6. Play Dress Up. Now, this can go two different ways. It’s always nice to put on fancy clothes, get your hair, nails, and make-up professionally done to go out on the town. But, there is a naughty aspect that comes along with a trip to Fredrick’s of Hollywood or the local costume shop. The element of mystery and excitement is sure to get you going. 7. Get a Babysitter or a Family Member. If you have a support system… use it. If you don’t… hire one you can trust. If you can’t trust one locally, buy an airline ticket and ship one in. You will be hard pressed to find your libido with the kids running around screaming and playing, so find a way to have quiet time alone with your significant other. Once you have secured some help, plan a romantic evening alone at home or even a weekend getaway of pleasure. 8. Relax…Relate…Release. We underestimate the eroticism that comes with peace and quiet. Pamper yourself and rediscover the powers of relaxation. Release all of your worries and daily responsibility to enjoy the company of your lover. 9. Play up The Senses. The word ‘sensual’ means enticing the 5 senses. So, entice your sense of sight, smell, touch, taste, and sound to reawaken your sexual libido. Light your favorite scented candles to provide soft lighting (sight), warmth (touch), and sexy aromas (scent). Bring out warm baby oil so you and your lover can simultaneously massage (touch) each other in delicate places. And have a tray of aphrodisiacs to feed one another (taste) while soft music is playing in the background (sound).