Domestic Violence Shelters

Shelters are run, funded, and managed either by governments or by volunteer non-government organizations. According to a 1999 report published by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, there are well over 2000 groups involved in sheltering abused women and their off-spring. Before you opt for moving with your children into a sheltered home or apartment, go through this check list. 1. It is important to make sure that the philosophy of the organizers of the shelters accords with your own. Some shelters, for instance, are run by feminist movements and strongly emphasize self-organization, co-operation, and empowerment through decision-making. Other shelters are supervised by the Church or other religious organizations and demand adherence to a religious agenda. Yet others cater to the needs of specific ethnic minorities or neighbourhoods. 2. Can you abide by the house rules? Are you a smoker? Some shelters are for non-smokers. What about boyfriends? Most shelters won't allow men on the premises. Do you require a special diet due to medical reasons? Is the shelter's kitchen equipped to deal with your needs? 3. Gather intelligence and be informed before you make your move. Talk to battered women who spent time in the shelter, to your social worker, to the organizers of the shelter. Check the local newspaper archive and visit the shelter at least twice: in daytime and at night. 4. How secure is the shelter? Does it allow visitation or any contact with your abusive spouse? Does the shelter have its own security personnel? How well is the shelter acquainted with domestic violence laws and how closely is it collaborating with courts, evaluators, and law enforcement agencies? Is recidivism among abusers tracked and discouraged? Does the shelter have a good reputation among them? You wouldn't want to live in a shelter that is shunned by the police and the judicial system. 5. How does the shelter tackle the needs of infants, young children, and adolescents? What are the services and amenities it provides? What things should you bring with you when you make your exit - and what can you count on the shelter to make available? What should you pay for and what is free of charge? How well-staffed is the shelter? Is the shelter well-organized? Are the intake forms anonymous? 6. How accessible is the shelter to public transport, schooling, and to other community services? 7. Does the shelter have a batterer intervention program or workshop and a women's support group? In other words, does it provide counselling for abusers as well as ongoing succour for their victims? Are the programs run only by volunteers (laymen peers)? Are professionals involved in any of the activities and, if so, in what capacity (consultative, supervisory)? Additionally, does the shelter provide counselling for children, group and individual treatment modalities, education and play-therapy services, along with case management services? Is the shelter associated with outpatient services such vocational counselling and job training, outreach to high schools and the community, court advocacy, and mental health services or referrals? 8. Most important: don't forget that shelters are a temporary solution. These are transit areas and you are fully expected to move on. Not everyone is accepted. You are likely to be interviewed at length and screened for both your personal needs and compatibility with the shelter's guidelines. Is it really a crisis situation, are your life or health at risk - or are you merely looking to "get away from it all"? Even then, expect to be placed on a waiting list. Shelters are not vacation spots. They are in the serious business of defending the vulnerable. When you move into a shelter, you must know in advance what your final destination is. Imagine and plan your life after the shelter. Do you intend to relocate? If so, would you need financial assistance? What about the children's education and friends? can you find a job? Have everything sorted out. Only then, pack your things and leave your abuser.

Domestic Violence Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde a two in one package, that springs to mind every time I hear of another case of domestic violence. How many men/women can relate to this personality disorder in their partner? There are no excuses for the people who inflict pain on another human being. It was a deadly potion concocted by the famous Dr Jekyll that led to the actions of the notorious Mr Hyde where innocent victims perished. For those victims there were no choices whether they lived or died all because they were unaware of what was around the corner. You the victim of domestic violence have no corners to turn, at least you know when to expect the next punch or kick in the head. How much longer will you go on making excuses for the broken bones and bruises? How long before permanent damage is done, if not already. Believe me when I say the situation can only get worse unless you act now and get help. How can you ever be happy being on the receiving end of a clenched fist and god forbid should there be any children in this abusive relationship, I urge you even more to get out. There will always be the nice side to that person you once thought you knew, but niceness is not enough to overpower evil. You still have life for the time being; do not let anyone speed up an early grave for you Right now there is a fortunate patient being treated for cuts and bruises at the AE unit spinning yarns to cover up for their abuser. Doctors are not stupid especially when these one off visits become regular. Then we have the less fortunate lying on a cold mortuary slab. Family members and friends are the first to notice all the signs of domestic violence, and should they voice their opinion on the matter it is because they care and are concerned for your safety. Domestic violence can blind the victim into believing that they deserve this sort of punishment. Poppycock, no woman/man deserves to be beaten by the hands of another. Fear plays an important why many victims do not take action in getting out of the abusive relationship. If you are looking for a way out then do not hesitate to talk to a help group. Even the law is on your side so you see you are not alone. Approx 1 million women a year suffer in silence at the hands of their abuser but manage to escape with their lives. It is known that approx four million American women a year experience an assault from their partners Most common perpetrator in many domestics in the home is the man. For your own safety listen to the people who want to help. Believe it when I say, no woman is as physically strong as the male species so this is one battle you are never going to win when it comes down to fisty cuffs. Why put up with the torture of not knowing which identity your partner is going take on for the night. Will it be Jekyll or Hyde? Back to the fear factor, you have two options. You can continue to still live in fear and beaten or leave and be feared with out the beatings. You get to choose. Many of the abused who leave their partners will always be apprehensive and in some unfortunate cases where the victim is mentally scarred may live in fear for the rest of their lives. But with the help of family friends and help groups the fear can become a thing of the past. Claim back your pride with help and guidance then maybe you can go out and live your life to the full. Help groups deal with domestic violence on a daily basis and are there to help you in your fight for liberation. Love is a misunderstanding between two fools I have heard say, and in an abusive relationship one gets to be an idiot. You have the idiot who slays or the idiot who stays. Check my information page if you feel the time is right to make a stand and get out. http://www.benidormbeaches.com

Does the American government see its citizens as its children?

In Americas 230 year history the government seems to have forgotten that there job is to run the government as the people see as best and not the government telling the people what is best for them. The most recent example is the Internet gambling Ban signed into law last week by President Bush. The bill makes it illegal for banks and credit card companies to transfer money to casinos for the purpose of wagering on sports or games of chance, like roulette, blackjack and poker. These games are harmlessly enjoyed regularly by millions of Americans everyday, but some people become addicted to these games so the government is telling all of its citizens that no one is allowed to play these games in an online casino. This is not the first case of the government going against the wishes of the people, in the early 1900’s the government decided that the consumption of Alcohol should be banned, because some people were developing health and mental problems related to drinking too much. So rather then educating the people on the ill effects of prolonged Alcohol abuse the American government banned Alcohol. But instead of reducing the consumption of Alcoholic beverages it increased, and because the government was not allowing the production or importing of Alcohol, organized grime got into the moonshine business, and eventually the Government saw the error of their decision and repealed the law. Another great example of a failed policy to protect the people is the war on drugs that the government has been aging since the early 1980’s Billions of tax dollars a year goes into the war on drugs, but what are the results? The price of drugs has risen, and to support their habits many drug addicts have had to commit acts of robbery and murder to get their drugs. The American prisons are packed full of people whose only crime was possession of these illegal drugs. Instead of being an industry that is regulated and controlled you have people selling these drugs to kids in school playgrounds, and shooting each other to protect their territory. Had the government decided not to criminalize drugs but make it a heavily controlled industry, they could use the tax money for social programs like schools ad to give Americans universal health care. Please do not misunderstand me I am not in favor for legalizing hard drugs, but the current system is not working at all, but I am all in favor for legalizing online casino gambling. If I choose to play some hands of blackjack or poker from the comfort of my home what rights does the government have to tell me not to, and what sense does it make that I can not play in a casino over the internet, but I can drive down the street to the local casino and play there. To enforce this ban millions if not billions of dollars of software and computer hardware will be needed to monitor all of the banks transactions and that money will come from taxes instead of the government taxing online casinos or even having all the online casinos government controlled then they get all the profits to be used to improve the lives of the American citizens, millions of which are bellow the poverty line if not homeless. The American government needs to start re-thinking its policy of treating its citizens like small children, or the American people need to demand a new government.

Does Anyone Play Board Games Anymore?

Copyright 2006 Mike Patrick Jr, MD The number of entertainment options available to kids these days is mind-boggling. Playstation, X-Box, Nintendo DS, personal DVD players, the internet, iPods, cell phones--all of these compete for a child's attention, taking away time otherwise spent in physical activity and family functions. We all know the result of decreased physical activity. Childhood obesity is on the rise, bringing with it an increased number of kids with hypertension, elevated cholesterol, and type II diabetes. But what you may not have considered is the impact these electronic devices have on family time. It's not just the kids' fault. Technology distracts many parents from family time as well. Moms and Dads can watch movies every night, thanks to home-delivered DVD services, like Netflix. They comfortably surf the internet hour upon hour with lightening fast broadband connections and they bring laptops home from the office to work on next week's presentation. And while these innovations are not inherently bad, sometimes we forget to temper our craving for technology with sensible moderation. So the kids play their X-Box while their parents watch a movie or surf the net in a different room. How often does this scene play out in your house? You're not alone. We do it too. And why not? Everyone is happy. Nobody is arguing--well, maybe the kid's are arguing over the video game, but that's a discussion for a different day. The point is that it doesn't seem so wrong, really. And yet the family unit is weakened by a lack of good old fashioned bonding. So what can we do about this? Well, spending more time as a family will certainly help. And I don't mean time spent watching the same DVD together. I'm talking about family activities. I'm talking about interaction and communication. Physical activities are good--touch football in the backyard, bowling on the local lanes, a round of miniature golf at the fun center. Or you could revive one of my favorite childhood activities: family game night. Does anyone do this anymore? Give yourselves a good three or four hours, pop a big bowl of popcorn, and everyone choose a board game--no electronic ones please. The old standards, games like Monopoly and Clue and Life, are still around. You can find updated versions that provide variety (Haunted Mansion Clue and Pirate Life for example), while others are packaged with vintage pieces in collectible tins. Dominoes are fun. Card games work. You could even try a lively game of charades or Pictionary. Maybe you have a quirky game from your childhood collecting dust in the closet. The quirkiest one I remember was a board game called Fat-so. Each player had a big hollow plastic fat guy that snapped together at the belt line. His mouth was an open hole, just the right size to insert little wooden tokens that represented food. Players raced around the board, eating out at pizza places, ice cream stands, and doughnut shops. At the end of the game, whoever had eaten the most, won. See, I told you it was quirky. And while I certainly don't advocate this game as a lifestyle choice, I challenge you to find a quirky game that is as memorable. And that's what we're talking about--making memories. I think the key to a successful family game night is to plan at least one a week. If you don't plan it, it won't happen. You forget. I forget. We all forget. But it's important, and I bet your kids, even if their first reaction is to complain about a family game night, will remember the event fondly in their adulthood. Why? Because interaction stands out. Sitting in a chair, staring at a screen for two hours, does not. So the next time you're at the store, look through the game aisle and find something new. Schedule your night. Fix a special snack. Get everybody jazzed up for the event. Don't worry if there are grumblings in the beginning. You can bet as the weeks pass, with family game night entrenched as a regular occurrence, the grumblings will cease. Everyone will forget about their tech toys, at least for this one night. Your family will grow as a unit, and fond memories will be burned into each person's heart. So what are you waiting for? Go on. Give family game night a try!

Do You Own A Handbag Or A Tool bag ?

When my siblings and I were young, I recall my mother wouldn't leave the house without her big black leather handbag. Strap tucked neatly over gloved arm, like a waiter's napkin, she would proudly set off with her tribe tucked neatly in behind her. Mother Duck and the Ducklings. I've since come to realize that the proud tilt of her chin and her upright posture was simply her smug self-satisfaction in knowing that no matter what catastrophe may befall her, there'd be something in her handbag to remedy the problem. Thirty years on, the style and shape of her handbag may have changed, but I guarantee you would still be able to change a car tire or prevent nuclear war by poking through the contents of my mother's handbag. Alas, it seems to be a trait that has passed from mother to daughter, because I'm the one amongst all my gal pals who can always be counted on to produce a Bandaid for a cut finger, or the perfect lip gloss for a touch up. Oh, and I'm always the one with the spare tissues and tampons. I would like to ask Dr Freud about my peculiar predilection for carrying the entire contents of my bedroom (and kitchen, and bathroom) in my handbag, but he would probably relate it to some female sexual inadequacy problem. (Penis envy sounds like a good one!) What never ceases to amaze me is what on earth can the celebs who walk down the red carpet at those gala events possibly fit into an evening bag the size of a matchbox? Heck, they look like they haven't got room for a match let alone a matchbox. I always imagine their mother, or assistant, or hanger-on person, inconspicuously lugging their oversized Louis Vuitton traveling case through the rear tradesman's entrance. After all, what celeb would leave home without a complete makeover kit, change of underwear, spare toothbrush (or teeth!) and an extra bottle of Moët in case of an emergency? Most men who tell you women are mysterious creatures have never witnessed the full monty, so to speak, of a woman's handbag. I don't know if they would have the physical or mental strength to deal with it. As the nurturers and carers of the world, I'd like to think that my handbag is an expression of my humanitarian global-thinking persona. I'm the one who will always be there to help another human being in need. As long as they wear the same shade of lipstick as me.

Do You Need An Answering Service?

It is nothing short of annoying when a person does not have an answering service. Let’s face it. In this day and age, everyone should be able to manage at least an answering machine, right? When it comes to business transactions, it is even more important to have some sort of answering service available to your customers. Whether they are calling in with orders or calling in to answer questions, you need to have the proper tools for the job and that includes a well qualified answering service. But, how do you find something that will work for your specific needs? For example, if you need an answering service that is able to make and take appointments for you, then you need someone live on the other end to do this work for you as well as software to help them fit the appointments into your schedule, right? Now, you may be able to find and hire an answering service that simply conveys this information back to your secretary or to you and tells the individuals who are calling that you will call to confirm the information. There are many set ups for these answering services. You have software programs that can virtually do all the work for you. You have a wealth of live people to call on in various situations as well in organizations and companies that do the work, live, around the clock. Depending on the quality that you need and the specifics that you are looking for, you’ll have the ability to find just the right type of answering service for your needs in no time. Even better is the simple fact that you can find these options ready and waiting for you right here on the web. It is great to know that answering services are able to take care of your business in times when you cannot.

Do You Know An Identity Thief

What makes identity theft the epidemic it has become? The fact that half of all victims know the person that committed the theft according to the Better Business Bureau's 2005 Fraud Survey. Watch out for these red flags 1. Resentment I worked for a company that handled lost and stolen credit card reports. I don't know how many times someone called and said their ex or soon to be ex spouse stole all of their financial information and went on a vengeance spending spree. Of course it's not limited to former husbands and wives but anger is a powerful emotion. The obvious familiarity, total access to private information combined with the desire to do as much damage as possible makes this the most devastating form of id theft financially and emotionally. No matter what the relationship, always keep a close eye on your credit and other financial information. 2. The Snoop. The people that ask you too many questions of a very personal nature. Its easy to not think anything of it.The person may be a relative, neighbor or close friend but ask yourself (and them) exactly why do they need to know your date of birth or social? You may even catch them snooping thru your personal information. Now it could all be perfectly innocent but with id theft the number one crime for the fifth year in a row, do you really want to take that chance? 3.Addiction "I don't have any drug addicts in my family." Good deal but substance abusers are not the only people who will steal from you. Alcoholics, people addicted to porn, even compulsive shoppers are potential identity thieves. Gambling and pornography on the internet are billion dollar industries. According to Jim Vaules, an identity theft expert for Lexis Nexis, "You see a lot of internet gambling and pornography sites being charged to stolen cards. [Identity Thieves] might use the card of a family member or friend" Any kind of obsessive behaviour can throw a person's normally rational judgement out the window because the only thing that counts is satisfying the habit NOW! Addiction also means more than likely the identity thief can and will justify their actions. Even if you catch them red handed, its very possible they'll say its not their fault, put the blame on you or just shrug their shoulders and say "so what?" What do you do in instances like this? Filing a police report may not be a bad idea. Author Liz Pullman Weston of MSN Money says "A little tough love may be the only way to stop a miscreant from becoming a career criminal" Even if the addict apologizes profusely and vows never to do it again (quite common) the odds are high they will do it again unless they get some counseling. Filing a police report no matter how reluctant you are could be a step in that direction. There are of course other symptoms. Somebody living above their means or mail that looks like its been tampered with. Identity theft requires constant vigilance with credit monitoring, storing private information in secure places, shredding documents etc. If identity theft happens to you, the best thing besides recovering your identity will be your peace of mind in realizing it wasn't anyone you know.